Cold, hardened cynicism...where did you go???

We talked again. We went to the fair. I pissed her off. But I redeemed myself (maybe it was because I told her she looked beautiful…in three days it was the first time I had seen her smile). Then the weekend came…and it wouldn’t end. But then it did, mercifully, and we picked up where we left off. It was amazing- we’re kind of the same, the ‘pretty face’ and I. Not with the ‘petty’ stuff (we don’t have the same favorite bands), but in the whole ‘principles, philosophies, perspectives’ sort of way (see a couple of blogs ago). The weeks rolled by…we got so close, so fast. In fact, we spent every available second together (while still doing our jobs, of course). But the thing is: I never wanted her to leave…I never got sick of her. But then it came…it was the last thing I wanted to hear! She has a boyfriend. But I don’t get deterred by things like that. If this is as right as I think it is- if this really is that Supergirl I’ve been searching for (but not admit I’m searching for), then I’ll know what to do. I’ll just magically know that, out of the millions of poems in the world, E.E. Cummings’ ‘I carry your heart with me’ is her favorite. And then I’ll read it to her. And I did. And it was. But damn’t, the boyfriend is still there. Like a fly buzzing around my face on a hot summer day, I can’t swat him. I mean, she made a commitment to him, and she’s not going waver from it. But, just as quickly as I was (metaphorically) punched in the gut with the news that she had a boyfriend, she didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I don’t know the details, and I really don’t want to know. I just know that now I’m pretty happy and that is all that matters.